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A few weeks later, with Rob and Laura back home in Wisconsin, I gave them a call. I go bowling. As they say, though, ultimate freedom isn't free. Back in my room, I pounded some water and descended into a string of Google wormholes: What is the weirdest HJ technique that actually feels good?

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For many visitors, secrecy is serious business. And so this chore is repeated routinely by Desire Pearl guests, who nab a few snaps to feed the Facebook and Instagram beasts. Rob's and Laura's eyes went wide.

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